I sit here in my home, in exhaustion and accomplishment. I don't believe I've experienced, in my entire life, the feelings that I have right now. I am alone, on a squeaky chair typing away in a room without shoes on, still wearing my dress shirt and khakis from the day, but now two buttons are loosened and the tie is on the couch. It's that familiar scene where a man stumbles in from a long day of work and finally has at least a temporary rest. But my version, where I am now in Mokpo, South Korea, feels completely different, and it's an acknowledging mindset I now hold. I acknowledge the absolute chaos that was this last week, and I acknowledge the importance and timing of my decision to come here to begin with. In this last week, since my last post on this blog, I have been involved in an absolute whirlwind of activity, and the term is used appropriately. Kathryn and Hugh, who I owe much to at this point, did their very best, and succeeded greatly, in breaking me in and giving me a very intuitive introduction to the culture, people, food, language, and lifestyle that I now assume. I could never speak for another teacher who went abroad, and I don't know their initial experiences in dealing with the changes involved in making the trip. I can't, but I can speak for mine, and I am obligated to thank Kathryn and Hugh for their support in only four short days, to this unorthodox endeavor I'm attempting. Honestly, Kathryn and Hugh, you are a truly remarkable pair and even though our friendships were short-lived (as far as nearness is concerned), you need to know that your friendships and help came at the most important time. This decision to come to Mokpo has been the biggest in my life. Your help has been invaluable, and I love you both for that. You two are going to have a freaking blast over these next months, and naturally part of me is jealous. But I belong here now, and I'll get to all of that wild extensive traveling at another time in my life. Kathryn and Hugh, you two are incredible. Good luck with everything. And the apartment is a dream, by the way. And yes Hugh, I'll likely need to consult the apartment guide to accomplish laundry.
I realize that right now I'm in an unusual hypnotic state, and I'm allowing for the sake of the moment my mind to return to where I was just one year ago, and then one month ago, and then one week ago. There's been a lot of change of me in this last year and those close to me know of the change. I'm still the same person but there has been change, and I'm very thankful and blessed to be able to come here and take myself into the next chapter of this change. I miss my family incredibly, and I imagine it will affect me in idle moments and linger for a while. But you all need to know, I do this for you in many ways, and I'm so fortunate to have the opportunity to be apart of your lives. I can't explain it more than that, but you all carry me in my thoughts, and your individual examples are the greatest spectacles I've witnessed in my life. Words are not meant to express my love for you all.
Mokpo is my home now, and it was confirmed the minute I came into town - although my first moments in Mokpo were in an exhaustive dream-state that I barely recall. But, the pictures and things I've read about the city were stuck in my mind for months, and as I come across areas and locations that I've seen and heard about, the surreal feelings unsurprisingly manifest. And they are not intimidating or strange, but very comforting and assuring. I belong here and I will continue to prove to myself that.
Ms. Yoon, my boss and the academy's director, gave me a gift tonight I didn't expect. This weekend is a Korean holiday called Chuseok, or Thanksgiving. In shopping centers, stores, and even 7-11s (yes they have 7-11s here), there are gift sets you can purchase for people. It's a very giving season and it's a great time to experience Korea because of it. After work today, which was my first official day, Ms. Yoon gave me a bag with a Chuseok gift inside. She's a very stern woman, but she's fair, and still very nice. Obviously, she's concerned about my ability to continue the sort of teaching that Kathryn and Hugh carried out. The shoes I'm filling are huge. In some ways I'm now the face of the academy, as an American, English speaker. Not all academies have a native English-speaking teacher to promote. This particular one has had them, and with me, they'll continue to have one. But I'm now the only one, along with my Korean teacher peers who also speak English. They do not speak it fluently although it's very easy to carry a conversation with them. So there is quite a large amount of pressure on me. But after today, I am confident it can be done.
In this last week, you probably wouldn't believe the amount of Korean whispers circulating through the academy about the "new teacher", the person who would be replacing Hugh-Teacher and Kathryn-Teacher. I got the sense that the majority were optimistic and curious but I'm pretty sure a small portion were slightly angry. Hugh and Kathryn, truly, are loved by their students, and they deserve it all. And so you can imagine my feelings this week while I witnessed their adoration, and then sincere grief when Hugh and Kathryn left. I saw probably five students cry, and heard maybe six of many that had no remark about their sadness of their departure. These are great kids and they really developed a bond with Kathryn and Hugh. So this week, as I've been sitting in on classes and saying my hellos and how are yous they've been very curious. And today was the first real test of my aptitude for the position not only for the school but for the children as their new, American, blond-haired replacement teacher. Lindsay, thank you so much for the conversation this morning. It gave me a huge boost, and I love you so much.
To summarize the experience, I can say it went very well. The students were able to interact with me and I was able to learn more about them. I even was able to lash out, shortly, at a few students who were causing trouble, and I found the role, which really is completely new to me, as very natural, and the students immediately respected it and corrected themselves. Altogether I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I even asked one student "How are you today?" to which she replied, "I am happy because new teacher is handsome". I blushed.
I don't want to stop writing but I should. I feel very fortunate right now, in ways that I've never felt my entire life. I think now I'll cook a bunch of food that I bought at the market that is written completely in Korean, and use some of the canola oil that Ms. Yoon gave me for Chuseok. I'm having an absolute blast, and life feels very much in my control. And it feels very good.
I love you all.
Anthony
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